“Mon Dieu, what are they thinking?”
- Madama Phloozé ™
Sometimes I think the anniversary of loosing someone is almost as bad as the original event. It’s more insidious: I’ll be out of sorts but not know why. I’m irritated, easily annoyed, and hyper-sensitive. And, if I can’t put the pieces together of why I’m upset, how can I expect anyone else to?
It will be five years later this month that one of my best friends died. It was an awful time and I spent my birthday that year preparing her memorial. I just realized it last night which clarifies my recent mood. Worse birthday ever. There I stood in Kinkos with tears streaming as the sales clerk fumbled the program. I’d been to the flower market, preset the vases, checked the sound system and was utterly raw. My heart wasn’t on my sleeve, it was outside my ribcage exposed and unprotected.
We often don’t know why people act the way they do. Why did that driver cut me off? What was up with the curt waiter? If we don’t take the time for introspection, we can’t process or comprehend our inner world. There is unnecessary conflict created and misunderstanding.
The picture is of the place I created in my garden in honor of my friend. It helped then and still does.
Take a moment today and check in with yourself especially if you feel out of sorts. Know there is a reason. And, there is a real reason for the irritated person in your path to also be upset or off-kilter. Introspection creates the space for both compassion and patience for ourself and others.
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